Random thoughts on a Tuesday morning

I have my first ever book club meeting tonight and I am very excited! We read The Private Papers of Eastern Jewel and while it wasn't a book I would have normally selected for myself, it was wonderful! It's based on the life of Eastern Jewel, a Chinese princess banished to Japan at a young age by her father. She spent her life seeking the love she never received by carrying on numerous love affairs and constantly searching for a true female friend. Always feeling more like a child of Japan than of China, she attempted to prove her Japanese citizenship by acting as a spy, which eventually led to her imprisonment and death in 1948.

Having never been a part of a book club (despite always wanting to join one), I'm not quite sure how tonight will go, but I'll let everyone know tomorrow. What I do know is that there will be good food, good wine and good company, so I'm sure it'll be a lovely evening.

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I'm having a skinny day! I am not a super skinny person, so keep it in context, but I feel good, I look good, I'm well-dressed today and I like it! I've lost roughly 30 pounds in the last year or so, and I always love days when I actually feel like I've lost that weight. Hooray!

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That being said, I'm not having a fantastic hair day. I really, really should've conditioned it this morning, but I thought I could go another day or two...apparently not. Oops! Rather than looking nice and soft, it's shouting, "see this frizz? This is from your unhealthy love of your hair dryer and curling iron!" In my defense, I have kind of fine hair that, when conditioned too often, becomes weighed down and limp. Nonetheless, I will obviously be conditioning my hair tomorrow morning and I'm sure we'll be back on good terms then.

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I cannot wait for Saturday!! Corey (my Baltimore bestie), Jamie and I are finally getting to hang out! Corey and her fiance are flying into town Friday night and she and I are going to have a girls day on Saturday. This means pedicures...hooray! And, once Jamie gets off of work, she'll be heading to my place and the three of us will be off for dinner, drinks and gossip. It'll be just like senior year of college all over again!

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And, because I'm in such a good mood today:

...words to live by...

Coming March of 2010...

Yep, another book nerd post, folks. Obviously, this is going to be a theme here.

Anyway, just a quick bit of excitement to share: Carol Goodman, one of my favorite authors, is releasing a new book in March! It's called Arcadia Falls and sounds quite good.

I've read all 6 of Goodman's novels and have been impressed with each one. She is, above all, a mystery writer, but there's always an overarching theme of family; often a single parent (typically a mom) due to the loss, either physically or mentally, of the other parent. The mystery in Goodman's novels usually require knowledge of a character's past so she frequently switches between present time and past vignettes, which I love. I'm intrigued when books have dual time periods and character's discover things about themselves with memory flashbacks. I guess it's just kind of my thing.

I highly recommend checking out any one of Carol Goodman's novels. They've been released for a while, so local libraries and used book stores typically seem to carry her work. No need to spend $15.00 on a book (unless it's a perfectly beautiful story that speaks to your soul and must have a place of honor on your bookshelf) when you can just hit up your local library!

Has anyone else read anything by this author?

ps- The Lake of Dead Languages was my first Goodman read and I was hooked immediately! The minute I finished it I hopped online and searched Amazon.com for any other titles by this talented author...so began my need (obsession...call it what you will) to read every one of her books.

Another thank you and an award

First and foremost, I want to say a giant THANK YOU to everyone who has been reading my blogs about baby Jake, who have said prayers for him and his family and for all of the lovely, supportive comments. It was a really rough week and I cannot even begin to describe how wonderful it was to have everyone's comments to draw strength from. Jakob Locke Talus was laid to rest yesterday afternoon in Minnesota surrounded by friends and family. As I've said before, I have no doubt that he will be forever watchful of his family as he sports his new Angel wings in Heaven. And for the family, now begins their long, painful process of healing, so everyone please continue to keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Onto a happier topic: I was tagged for the Happy 101 Award by the lovely Ashley over at Kiwis and Cocktails yesterday! Thank you, Ashley! This absolutely made my day. If you haven't checked out Ashley's blog yet, I highly recommend you do so; she's extremely entertaining, has a husband with an accent and is Mama to an adorable dog! What's not to love?! Hers is definitely a daily must-read for me.

As for the rules to this award (everything has to have rules, doesn't it?), they are sweet and simple:
1. List 10 things that make you happy, and
2. Tag 10 fellow bloggers that brighten your day...

Piece of cake!

My 10 happy things:

1. My parents -- My Mom is my best friend, my #1 confidant, my biggest fan and my reality check (when I need it). My Dad is my protector, my go-to guy for questions that are far out of my realm of expertise, my giant bear hug when I really need it and one of my biggest supporters of sticking to my goals. My parents are my pillar of strength and the best example I've ever seen of what a loving, healthy marriage looks like.

2. Finding the perfect gift for someone. I get giddy like a schoolgirl and cannot wait to see the person's face light up when they open my gift.

3. That feeling after finishing an exceptionally good book when my soul sighs and all I want to do is go back and start from the beginning again!

4. The smell of freshly brewing coffee when I first wake up in the morning.

5. Rainbow sprinkles on frozen yogurt. How can you not feel happy when you're eating something smooth and delicious that is also sprinkled with little rainbow bits?!

6. The 6th floor of the old part of the Denver Art Museum -- I can (and do) literally spend hours just taking in the European Renaissance and 19th century French art pieces that fill this floor. I never fail to feel a sense of peace and awe when I visit this part of the museum. In fact, I have been known to go to the museum specifically to visit the 6th floor and then promptly leave (after a quick stop in the gift shop of course!) without seeing any other exhibits. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for not only instilling in me a love and appreciation of art, but also for the DAM family pass that allows me free visits!

7. Drinking wine while wearing sweats and enjoying deep EJ conversations on the couch. EJ = Erin and Jamie, and our mutual love of wine and sweats, the fact that we are often on the same brain wavelength (scary!) and the amazing conversations I can only have with her make me very happy. I have 2 best friends and this one is pretty freaking awesome.

8. The fact that the other best friend, Corey, (often referred to here as the Baltimore Bestie and also pretty freaking awesome) and her fiance may be moving back to Colorado this summer!!!

9. My apartment. I love that this place is MINE! I love coming home to it, getting to decorate it, not having to share anything in it and proudly showing it off to visiting family and friends.

10. When my parents' neighbor's dog (did you catch all of that?), Lilly Pad, sees me drive up and can hardly contain her excitement until I get out of my car. She comes racing over from her house and just loves on me. It's the best feeling!

My fellow bloggers, whose lives I love to follow, that I'm passing this award onto are (in no particular order):

Brandi at Excess Baggage
Classy in Philadelphia
Kaylee at Kisses from Kay
Katie at Love and Peace
Caitlin at Love Life
My darling, B at Real.
Courtney at Starting Out
Lawgirl at Stumbling in Stilettos
Kaity at ambition never goes out of style
Brenna at Buzz de la Abeja

Each and every one of you has a fabulous blog that I enjoy reading and commenting on. Thanks, ladies!

This weekend was...

...very low-key. I'm battling one of my infamous sinus infections and actually ended up staying home from work on Friday. I'm glad I did, because not only did my whole head hurt from sinus pressure, but it was an emotionally trying day. As you can see from my last post, Baby Jake passed away late Friday afternoon. An EEG found that Jake didn't have enough brain activity to survive, so the family gathered together, supported one another, took turns getting to hold this precious child and then let him go. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the family's own personal angel in Heaven, watching over them for the remainder of their lives. It was so much better to be able to cry on the phone with my mom in the comfort of my own home, rather than hiding in the break room at work. It would've just been too much for me to take.

The rest of the weekend consisted of relaxing and marking things off of my to-do list, such as starting to wrap Christmas presents, washing multiple loads of laundry, sending out sympathy cards, etc. We're in the middle of another winter storm here in Northern Colorado, so along with snow (started Saturday night and still hasn't stopped) came bitter cold temperatures. I had almost forgotten what it's like to step outside and feel your nose hairs start to freeze! Brrr! Obviously, avoiding having to go outside played a major role in the weekend as well.

I helped my Mom decorate the Christmas tree at my parents' house and gathered up all of my own decorations from the basement. I haven't tackled my decorating yet, but at least I have everything readily available now! As always, my parents' tree looks classy and gorgeous. My mother has quite the knack for decorating her Christmas tree and I have to admit I'm envious. I've picked up a few skills here and there and I really think my tree looks lovely and fun (it's a silver tree) every year, but it never quite compares to my Mom's...and, let's be honest, probably never will.

I think the highlight of this weekend came on Saturday evening. I'd been out running errands, still wasn't feel well at all, had a heavy heart over Jake and just needed some Erin time, which means: Barnes & Noble. B&N is my safe haven! This is where I go when I just need to lose myself a little. I always feel comforted by all of the books and conversations going on around me; there's a warmth to that store that I rarely find other than at my parents' house or in my own apartment. So, I bought a cup of extra hot coffee, picked a copy of Bright Star off of the shelf, settled into one of the comfy arm chairs and just indulged in some Me Time. It was wonderful. I was curled up in the chair long enough to read the entire book (a little over an hour), savor my coffee and get a few chuckles out of the conversations going on around me. By the time I vacated the arm chair, I was feeling much better and had a smile on my face. My throat and sinuses still hurt and my heart was still broken over Jake, but my soul felt refreshed.

Baby Jake has passed away.

Please take a moment to say a prayer for Jakob Locke Talus, Heaven's newest little angel.

Also, please say one for his family, who will need all of the love, strength and support we can give them during this unimaginable time.

Helpless

(Baby Jake)

I feel so helpless. I can bow my head and pray for Jake. I can think every single postivie thought that comes to mind. I can send my love and support. I can make Jamie laugh with little text messages because I know she needs to smile. I can talk with Mama A and get updates. I can post for prayers on Facebook and here.

...but I can't be there. I can't give my best friend a hug. I can't tell her that my shoulder is hers whenever she needs it. I can't send encouragement and strength through a smile to Mama and Papa A or Katie and her husband. I can't even keep the dogs out of trouble at Jamie's parents' house. I can't do anything that feels even remotely useful.

I know this has a touch of pity party to it, but I'm angry and frustrated that this is happening to such a wonderful family. I'm a strong woman and I am surprisingly good at handling stressful situations...until I'm alone and my walls break down. Well, here I am alone in my apartment looking at pictures of baby Jake and I've never felt so incredibly helpless in my entire life. I hate it; I hate this situation; and I hate that the people I love as much as my own blood family are in so much pain right now.

I just needed to get the words out of my head...

Thank You and an Update

I just want to say a huge thank you, not only from me, but also from Jamie and her entire family for everyone's continued positive thoughts and prayers for baby Jake. It means the world to them!

I don't have too much information yet this morning, but I can tell you that as of last night Jake's pH and CO2 levels were improving, but there is still a lot of concern as to the functioning of his brain and major organs. He is currently on a cold pad in order to keep his temperature down to 85 degrees in the hopes of preventing any further damage to his little body. After he's been on the cold pad for 72 hours, neurologists will run a full MRI to help determine what kind of, and how much, damage Jake has. We're all continuing to throw our miracle cards into the mix and praying that the little guy keeps fighting!